marriage

In this section, Rachel discusses the difference between reactive vs. proactive parenting.

It is so important for us to try to react to our children in a loving and kind way. I for one, am the first one to admit that I overreact a lot of times when Brielle is misbehaving/doing something that she shouldn’t be doing.

After reading this article a couple of months ago, I am really trying to understand more of where/why she is acting the way she is, instead of reacting so fast to the situation at hand. This has changed how she responds dramatically and it has actually help to prevent a LOT of meltdowns.

I have been working on saying more phrases like “what is making you so mad” or “how can mommy help you figure this out” so she doesn’t become frustrated which usually ends in a meltdown.

There are still so many times that Shane and I jump the gun and say something out of anger/little sleep/busyness, but that doesn’t make it ok and I know it does hurt her feelings in the end.

What I have noticed is that it’s ok to say “I’m sorry, mommy only said that because I was upset with you and I will try to work on not yelling the next time you do that”. She is learning so much and putting everything together, and I don’t want her to remember this phase in her little life, as always being in trouble or redirected to do something else.

We can always be better, and in the end, that’s the most important thing is that we continue to work to be better parents, better partners and always have the same goals in the end!

Have you said something negative to your child, and immediately thought out a different scenario where things could’ve ended differently? Let me know! I would love to connect on this topic! ABM_1452390605

Today, Shane and I celebrate being together for a decade!! Wow, times flies so fast and it sure has been one heck of a ride! We have both grown so much over the years, and started out dating as kids and grew into two adults together. It’s amazing how you can truly grow over the years with the one you love!

Shane and I met at my best friend Krystle’s (Shane’s cousin, my now cousin in-law) house in Austin during spring break of my sophomore year and Shane’s senior year. To us, we would have definitely described our first impressions as “love at first sight”, I mean Shane blushed so much when he met me, and I did the exact same. I had never had the butterflies in the stomach before with anyone else, and I am so happy it was with him! It’s funny because we actually ended up kissing good-bye on the first night we met, and who would have ever thought that little kiss would still continue this many years later! 🙂

Some of our favorite memories are all of those “suppose to be cute dates” that failed miserably with us. Have you ever gotten on the swan boat on Town Lake Austin and thought it would be so cute and romantic? Well it was, until we got yelled at by the UT rowing team “SWAN IN THE WAY SWAN IN THE WAY” and we could not move fast enough to get out of there way.. Or the time where we tried to go kayaking (same lake) and the current was so hard to push against that we literally only went 10 feet in the hour that we paid for? HA! well needless to say, we have not been back on that lake!

Looking back, we have been through so much, it’s crazy that we came out stronger then ever! I remember getting married during nursing school (NEVER try to do this–FYI) we LOVED the date 10-10-10 and had to have it. Then we had to go through nursing school together, it wasn’t just me, it was the both of us and all of those long nights of studying and me always wanting the house quiet.. took a lot of patience from him!

Then came children! With all that God has blessed us with, we had to learn the hard way that life is not always easy, and it is not always what you ask for, but if you lean on God for understanding and grace through it all, you will come out of your situation stronger. I trust that God knew what to do with our kids and I am so glad that we get to watch Brielle live each day to the fullest, and thrive! Who knows what our future holds down the line if we may have more children,or may adopt, or we might just come to the point in our life that Brielle is enough. Only God knows, and we will keep praying until that day comes.

Shane Johnson I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life! Here’s to the next ten years! 🙂