Roadblocks to connection- Section 10

Roadblocks to connection- Section 10

In section 10, Rachel talks about some some major roadblocks to connection with our children.

What do you dedicate most of your time to? Does it align with what you want to prioritise? Do your children feel like your priority? What distractions do you feel you could reduce or remove to better use your time?

When I think of roadblocks, I immediately think of technology.  I feel like the advancement we have now in 2015, is WAY better than what I grew up on.  My family had one computer that we had to share, that was SO slow, and we somehow all made it work.

Fast-forward to now, and Brielle uses my Samsung Note Tablet that she calls “hers” daily.  I used to use this for a while to keep her distracted on all of the fun games I downloaded, but now she LOVES netflix and youtube.  I can’t believe how my 2 year knows how to work the tablet better than me, at times!

Rachel asks us parents to answer some questions, which will allow us to take a better look at some problems that might exist, when it comes to connecting with our kids. Here is my response:

  1. Most of my time is dedicated to Brielle.  I spend every moment I am not working with her, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  She is only this age once, and after everything we have been through, we know that Brielle would definitely benefit from having more time with us, rather than less.
  2. Yes, it aligns with what I am prioritizing.  She is my biggest/highest priority, and if she is happy and content, then I am doing an “okay” job as a mom! Shane and I have always put our marriage first, and then children second, and we have Brielle pretty high up on both of our priority lists.
  3. Of course all of my children are my priority.  Even Lamar and Rochelle in Heaven.  I take time out each day to talk to them, say a prayer for them both, and just make sure that they know they are loved each and every day.  Brielle knows that she can do everything that I am doing (whether it’s cooking, crafting, or taking pictures), and I will not turn down her willingness to be involved.
  4. I feel that removing her time from her tablet, and just having more one on one communication would benefit us both.  She loves to talk, and I love to listen, so it seems like the perfect solution.  I have also minimized the time she spends watching t.v, and since we now live out in the country, I like to occupy her time by going outside and experiencing the beauty of nature and all that it has to offer.




Accepting children for who they are-section 9

Accepting children for who they are-section 9

In section 9, Sara talks about the importance of just accepting children for who they are.

Find moments to connect instead of correct today. Show your children they are supported and accepted for who they are.

This section, is definitely something I have had to learn and work in the past couple of months. Brielle is SO similar to me, that she drives me absolutely crazy at times.  I am so shocked, that such a little person, can carry such a big personality.

She is head-strong, hates to back down from an argument, and does not really like to talk to people she doesn’t know, oh and the best for last–she hates compliments (especially about how cute she is, or how pretty her hair is!) Ding Ding, welcome to a 2 year old version of myself.  I did not think such a thing would exist, or that she would be SO like me, and not like Shane.  I always wished she would get Shane’s strong, likable, friendly personality, but nope, she’s all me.  Well, she definitely got his looks, but the inside is all momma.

I think it’s hard for me, not to want to fix everything I don’t like about myself, which in turn, I don’t want her to do either, instead of just embracing the girl she is becoming.  I have started to embrace her outspoken-ness, even if it sometimes comes out sounding straight rude. I have accepted the fact that she will not share everything she has with someone else, or always say thank-you on her own (or when prompted to).  She is just who she is.

She LOVES music, and I truly think she is going to do something with that passion, later in life.  She is so good at memorizing choreography already, that I won’t be surprised if she does amazing in dance class in a couple of years.  She is a grazer, and even though it irritates me at times that she won’t eat a complete meal, and just after I get done cleaning, she asks for a snack, I know that,that is who she is.  She has always been a grazer, and there is really no changing that. She is opinionated, and outspoken, and I love that she is truly learning what she wants in life, and is definitely saying it!

She is Brielle Diane Johnson, and I love her to death.

Mommy and baby girl!

©2015 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.

Throw that out!

Throw that out!

So after visiting my best friend, a couple of weeks ago, we got to talking and visiting and catching up on life.  Well, when it was time for me to get ready to see Val and the girls, she noticed me using the same make-up from YEARS ago.  I mean, the same eye-shadow pallet that I have had for a few years.  Her exact words were “omg, girl throw that out!”

So, of course, at that current time and place, I could not. I went home and thought about some beauty products that definitely needed to get thrown out!

Starting with, my brush.  I got this pink brush, about 3 years ago.  Yes, I know that’s absolutely gross.  Well, when you think about how many brushes it has been used in, is even more gross.  It’s just something that has not been on my list to get, in a long while.  I am glad that she told me this statement, because it made me realize that I haven’t bought myself any “new” beauty products in years.  I am VERY happy with this new revlon, detangler brush.  It’s smooth, lightweight, and easy to clean.

Next, is my blush.  I dare to say, that I have this same blush for almost 4 years.  Granted, I don’t use it often, but that’s insane! It never triggered me, how long I have been using this same color, for years.  Thank goodness, I got this updated, newer/better color for my skin tone, blush by ELF and I love it so far.  I used it today for a birthday party, and I could tell the difference it made on my skin! Crazy how new make-up makes you feel!

Then, came my eyeshadow.  I have had this maybelline eyeshadow for 5+ years. I used to use it ALL the time, until it ran out of the lighter/white color that I used all of, and I would still continue to scrape the side of the make-up box to get the last remains of the color.  I must say, this new Maybelline eyeshadow definitely looked perfect with my skin tone, and I was SO happy it came with an eyeshadow brush as well!

Last, was my mousse.  The mousse on the right (by Herbal Essence) is not necessarily old, it has just been my GO-TO product for years on end.  I have not ventured far away from this one,in years.   It leaves my hair crunchy, and I have never really LOVED it, even after all of these years.  I thought this would be a perfect time to try something new.  I bought this Pantene for curls whipped cream, and it is purely heaven.  I mean, it smells amazing, feels amazing, and you use a LOT less mousse to get the desired effect.  The best part is, my hair feels SOFT, all day!

I must say thank you to Adriane, for yet again, inspiring me to do something different.  I am one to stick to the same habits/routines, and not venture out to try something new.

With that said, out with the old, and in with the new! I trashed all the old products, and have opened/ started to use all the new ones.IMG_1960.JPG

Cheers to not making this same mistake, again!




Unconditional Parenting

Unconditional Parenting

In this 30 days towards connected parenting, section 5,  Sara talks about strategies and techniques that we could use to better show unconditional love.  Below are some of the techniques she suggests using, to keep the communication door open and the relationship strong, and not close it and shut it down.

  • Use natural consequences instead of arbitrarily imposed punishments.
  • Talk about problems and work out solutions together.
  • Model the behaviour you want to see in your children.
  • Show empathy and understanding while also maintaining boundaries. Offering comfort is not ‘giving in’, it’s helping them learn good emotional regulation.
  • Instead of praising: ask questions, describe what you see, or say nothing.
  • Respect them as you would an adult.
  • When a problem arises, focus first on connection instead of control.

I am not going to lie and say that we don’t use rewards/punishments in this household, because quite frankly, that seems to work majority of the time.  We are also use the “1,2,3 rule” and time out if necessary. But, I must say after reading this article, it definitely opened my eyes to more ways that I can be more understanding of Brielle’s behaviors, instead of always trying to control the situation.  I need to understand that just because I want to go to the gym, or the grocery store, or where ever it may be, that it does not necessarily mean that she wants to do the same.  Instead of saying “if you don’t finish getting dressed and ready, you will have to stay home with Daddy instead of doing ____ with me”.  I know that by telling her this,  it makes Shane seem like the bad person (but he is truly the FUN parent out of the both of us), but I also need to not force the situation, or use other threats as well as punishment.  It only makes me more frustrated, and the bad guy, both of which I don’t like being. I want Brielle to know that Shane and I love her unconditonally, and I want to make sure we stay as strong, for as long, as possible.

I am glad that I am opening my eyes to using different strategies, and while of course no parenting style works for everyone, I am just glad to try!