Being Black.


This yearly celebration of Black History Month, all started when one man named Dr. Carter G. Woodson wanted to make  a difference.  He wanted people to become aware of the discrimination, racism, and prejudice that surrounds the African American community.

I am a 28 year old black woman.  I am proud to be, and I want my kids to be as well.

You see, I wasn’t always this way. I spent more than half of my life, thinking completely different, because I wanted to be stubborn, ignorant, and believe that all black people would resemble the one person I disliked the most in my life… my Dad.

Growing up in a white family (my mom married my step-Dad when I was six years old), I didn’t know that I was different.  My mom never made it a point to discriminate others, or judged anyone else based on the color of their skin.  She raised to me to treat everyone equal.  I proudly said yes to anyone who asked when they looked at me (half black/white), and then looked at my mom and said the words “is that your mom”?

Growing up in school, they make it a point to put it in the textbooks about slavery, Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King Jr., but we didn’t go much beyond that.  We didn’t dive much into the topics, it’s almost as if we just barely touched the surface.

I remember a very distinct conversation I had with my mom when I was younger when I was taking a test and they had filled in my race/ethnicity as Black. I came home furious and asked my mom why they wouldn’t put White since I was, and that was the moment that I will never forget.  She said to me “Sweetie, your father is black and therefore your ethnic background/race will always be Black”.  It stung hard.  It hurt.

It wasn’t until I met Shane and his family, that I started learning what it was like for them to grow up in a predominant white community, and experience racism first hand.  I never had to experience the daily trials and tribulations that they lived through.  My heart hurt for them to hear how people would use the word “nigger” when talking to them/about them, or the many examples that they gave me of people disrespecting them.  Shane’s Grandma (may she Rest In Peace), taught me so much during my 3 hour interview with her about growing up in our small town, going to different schools and how she had to use a different public restroom than the white people in town.  Our community has changed so much for the better, but there is still such a long way to go.

I will always be honored to celebrate the African American community, to celebrate the #Blacklivesmatter movement and to fight for equality in our nation and fight for the eradication of racism in our county.

©2017 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.


Readjusting Expectations

This is section three of the 30 days towards connected parenting.

In this section Sara speaks about having too high of expectations for our little kids. How we expect obedience, we take away their choices, we minimize feelings, and expect perfection.

This is so true in so many ways, and when we stop to think about it, we do it every single day without ever noticing it.  I am definitely one to say that I have high expectations for my daughter.  I want her to always strive to be the best she can be, in any given situation.  I used to hate taking her out to eat, because she would never sit down in the high chair that they provided, or in a regular chair.  She would have to stand up and taste a little bit of everyone’s food at the table.. the whole meal.  I knew this topic would hit me hard, and here is the questions that were asked at the end of the prompt.

What expectations do you have of your children? Are there any that you’re still holding onto that might be negatively affecting your relationship? What are you working on letting go of to allow a deeper connection?

  1. I would say that my expectations that I have for Brielle is to be honest, to have manners and not just demand/take something she wants, to respect others and herself,and to know that in any circumstance is it EVER ok for her to hit, kick, bite, scratch, or intentionally hurt someone else (that will result in an automatic time-out).
  2. I definitely think the one major expectation for her that I just need to let go of, is perfection. I want her to really do great in life (as I am sure that many parents want the same for their own children), but I do tend to get upset when she messes up something that I know she knows and understands, or I tend to want to fix the 1 out of 5 shapes that she did not trace completely correct.
  3. I now understand that my behavior for her to be perfect, is because of my own insecurities and upbringing.  I never was the best at any sport, or mastered anything in school (I was good but not great at math), people didn’t idolize anything about me, and I see myself wanting that for Brielle.  I want people to look at her and go “wow, she’s so smart at …., or I wish I could teach my child to kick the ball like she does” etc., etc. I just want her to know that if anything ever happens to me, that I was the best possible mom I could be and that she learned as much as she could during the time she spent with me.  I am going to work on letting go of my high expectations and being proud of who she is, as her own individual.