30days

Exploring your own weakness

February 9, 2016February 7, 2016by Sheridan JohnsonLeave a Comment

In the last and final section of this series of the 30 days towards connected parenting, Rachel talks about the importance of exploring your own weakness.

I think for Shane and I, we both have different weaknesses that we had to address, and face, head-on.

Sometimes there are things in life, or a marriage that are hard and difficult to talk about, so most people would just avoid them, instead of putting them out there and facing them. That can only last for so long, and I am glad that we were able to discuss this with each other, and the impact it has on our children.

A couple of our examples, were that Shane has a weakness for saying “yes” to anyone/anything. He didn’t realize the impact of his generosity and kindness to others was having on our family. He wasn’t spending as much time at home, he was putting us after others, and he didn’t even realize that sometimes he can say “no” to people, and not be afraid to hurt their feelings. He had to work on finding a happy medium that worked best for him and for our family, that we could both agree on.

Me, on the other hand, have the tendency to support every.single.organization/friend/charity, by donating big or small, and while I used to be able to do that without even blinking an eye because we were making so much more money, I didn’t realize that I continued to do it, even when I dramatically cut my hours to be a stay at home with Brielle during the week and only work weekends. Spending money is my weakness, and even while it was helping others, it was hurting our family financially so we came up a game plan of how much is “ok” to spend each month, and if I pick up extra shifts and we have extra, that it’s ok to help out as much as possible!

Both situations are completely different, but recognizing them and taking ownership of our own actions, can only help us in our future communicate better, and not be so afraid to address the weaknesses that lie within us!

This 30 day parenting definitely took me longer than 30 days to complete, but I am SO happy that we took the time/energy/effort into this, and I am LOVING the outcome!

30 days, Brielle, learning

Accepting children for who they are-section 9

December 5, 2015December 9, 2015by Sheridan JohnsonLeave a Comment

In section 9, Sara talks about the importance of just accepting children for who they are.

Find moments to connect instead of correct today. Show your children they are supported and accepted for who they are.

This section, is definitely something I have had to learn and work in the past couple of months. Brielle is SO similar to me, that she drives me absolutely crazy at times. I am so shocked, that such a little person, can carry such a big personality.

She is head-strong, hates to back down from an argument, and does not really like to talk to people she doesn’t know, oh and the best for last–she hates compliments (especially about how cute she is, or how pretty her hair is!) Ding Ding, welcome to a 2 year old version of myself. I did not think such a thing would exist, or that she would be SO like me, and not like Shane. I always wished she would get Shane’s strong, likable, friendly personality, but nope, she’s all me. Well, she definitely got his looks, but the inside is all momma.

I think it’s hard for me, not to want to fix everything I don’t like about myself, which in turn, I don’t want her to do either, instead of just embracing the girl she is becoming. I have started to embrace her outspoken-ness, even if it sometimes comes out sounding straight rude. I have accepted the fact that she will not share everything she has with someone else, or always say thank-you on her own (or when prompted to). She is just who she is.

She LOVES music, and I truly think she is going to do something with that passion, later in life. She is so good at memorizing choreography already, that I won’t be surprised if she does amazing in dance class in a couple of years. She is a grazer, and even though it irritates me at times that she won’t eat a complete meal, and just after I get done cleaning, she asks for a snack, I know that,that is who she is. She has always been a grazer, and there is really no changing that. She is opinionated, and outspoken, and I love that she is truly learning what she wants in life, and is definitely saying it!

She is Brielle Diane Johnson, and I love her to death.

30 days, Brielle, children, Connected parenting

Everday Connection-section 8

December 3, 2015December 3, 2015by Sheridan Johnson2 Comments

In this section, Rachel talks about how important it is just to have an everyday connection with your child.

Is your child particularly affectionate?
Do they enjoy talking out their thoughts?
What are they interested in which you can participate in or encourage them in?

I do feel that me and Brielle have an amazing connection. It’s just something about a mother and a daughter that is just unbreakable. I love the relationship I have with my mom, and through thick and thin, she has always been there for me. I only hope that Brielle and I can continue the closeness that we do have, and develop it into a lifelong friendship.

The answer to the first answer is yes. She is amazingly affectionate towards those that she loves. I love the way she loves me and our family. She also is crazy affectionate (kisses, hugs, holds hands) with her close friends that she calls her “best friend”.
The answer to the second is also a yes. She LOVES to talk, to anything and everything. All.Day.Long. I don’t think she is really “quiet” unless she is napping, or has her paci in her mouth randomly. I love finding out each and every day what she is thinking, learning, and how much her brain is expanding into forming memories, and making new ones.
The third answer is her toys, babies, and puzzles.. Brielle particularly loves to play “pretend” with her babies (feed them, change them, cuddle them), but she also loves to figure things out. She loves when Shane and I watch her do something “new” on her own, and lately that has been to figure out new pieces of the 63 piece puzzle that go together. Since she is an only child, spending one on one with either one of us, means SO much to her, and I have to remember to really make more of an effort to do that more often!

I love this 30 days connected series, and I can’t wait to do the last few sections!

30 days, Brielle, Connected parenting

Readjusting Expectations

October 29, 2015October 29, 2015by Sheridan JohnsonLeave a Comment

This is section three of the 30 days towards connected parenting.

In this section Sara speaks about having too high of expectations for our little kids. How we expect obedience, we take away their choices, we minimize feelings, and expect perfection.

This is so true in so many ways, and when we stop to think about it, we do it every single day without ever noticing it. I am definitely one to say that I have high expectations for my daughter. I want her to always strive to be the best she can be, in any given situation. I used to hate taking her out to eat, because she would never sit down in the high chair that they provided, or in a regular chair. She would have to stand up and taste a little bit of everyone’s food at the table.. the whole meal. I knew this topic would hit me hard, and here is the questions that were asked at the end of the prompt.

What expectations do you have of your children? Are there any that you’re still holding onto that might be negatively affecting your relationship? What are you working on letting go of to allow a deeper connection?

I would say that my expectations that I have for Brielle is to be honest, to have manners and not just demand/take something she wants, to respect others and herself,and to know that in any circumstance is it EVER ok for her to hit, kick, bite, scratch, or intentionally hurt someone else (that will result in an automatic time-out).
I definitely think the one major expectation for her that I just need to let go of, is perfection. I want her to really do great in life (as I am sure that many parents want the same for their own children), but I do tend to get upset when she messes up something that I know she knows and understands, or I tend to want to fix the 1 out of 5 shapes that she did not trace completely correct.
I now understand that my behavior for her to be perfect, is because of my own insecurities and upbringing. I never was the best at any sport, or mastered anything in school (I was good but not great at math), people didn’t idolize anything about me, and I see myself wanting that for Brielle. I want people to look at her and go “wow, she’s so smart at …., or I wish I could teach my child to kick the ball like she does” etc., etc. I just want her to know that if anything ever happens to me, that I was the best possible mom I could be and that she learned as much as she could during the time she spent with me. I am going to work on letting go of my high expectations and being proud of who she is, as her own individual.