Experience pain or be pain free

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I really wanted to write this post on why I chose to experience pain and have two all natural deliveries (with no epidural) and what really led to that decision.

I wanted to write a little back story on how I came up to that decision. Brielle was my first full term baby and I knew I would most likely get an epidural with her.  It was all because I literally didn’t want to be in ANY pain at all.  I mean,  I was 25 years old, and I knew that I couldn’t handle it (well, at least back then I thought I knew that) so I really never gave an all natural birth experience a second thought.

Brielle’s delivery that I documented here was so easy.  It was exactly the way I wanted it to be (besides the major scare at the end) but overall I was laughing and enjoying the entire experience.  What I didn’t like about having the epidural is the loss of control.  I mean, I really never gave it a second thought that I wouldn’t be able to use to restroom (thank goodness I didn’t have to pee after I got it), or that I wouldn’t be able to shower after the delivery immediately (because y’all.. it’s just gross), or the fact that I wouldn’t be able to walk around and move during the process to get things moving a little (or a lot) faster.

So when we found out we were pregnant with Rochelle and that she was going to be a terminally ill baby, I wanted without a doubt, an all natural birth experience.  Her story is here.  Her birth was scary, and amazing at the same time.  In just 2 1/2 hours my body did something that took HOURS with Brielle.  I pushed her out and it was exhilarating, and I was SO extremely proud of myself for doing something that I was SO terrified to do.

Then comes Malachi.  One major reason that I wanted to do another all natural, no epidural labor was because things went to crazy and chaotic with Rochelle’s birth, I wanted to do things differently.  I didn’t know the gender of Malachi throughout the entire pregnancy and I wanted it to be a surprise to everyone.   I also wanted the freedom to have my kids in the delivery room (up until birth) and to walk around on wireless monitors.  I didn’t know that I would need a labor ball as well, but it was so beneficial and I am so glad I asked for one!  I wanted to slow down the oxytocin (the medication used to induce labor)  this go around as well (per doctors approval) and take it step by step.  His birth story is here.

I think so much pressure is put on us women as we have to make a choice in the beginning and in the end as to what we are going to do during labor.  If we are ok with a c-section (in case emergency happens), or if we want an epidural.  Never do they offer a “pain free” delivery with modifications that fit your wants/desires.  I think it’s amazing at the hospital I delivered at (DeTar North in Victoria, Tx) to listen to what I wanted and what was best for our baby on getting him out safely.

I think every single way that a child is able to survive and enter this world is a miracle, and I just applaud each and every woman who has birthed a baby via c-section, getting an epidural or going the all natural method. Each mom is amazing and I want to give you a virtual hug!
**Also note that I am also speaking to all the moms whether you are a mother by adoption, or you had a surrogate deliver your precious child.. I think the world of you women as well!**

I would LOVE to know which birth plan you chose and why! I love sharing our amazing stories and think we can definitely build this community up with encouraging positive information.

With love,

Sheridan

©2018 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

Happy 6th heavenly birthday, Lamar!

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Image credit here

After the first couple of years after we had the abortion that ended Lamar’s life, we didn’t exactly know how to celebrate his life, or even if we were able to, since we decided to end it.

I know that was a hard introduction to his birthday post, but I wanted to be real and raw with you guys.  I am trying to find the “right or appropriate” words for this post, but at the end of the day, it has to come from my heart.

Lamar was a very active boy in utero (as I am sure he is in heaven), and it really broke both Shane and I to pieces when we had to make that horrible, final decision to end his life.  At the end of the day what we now realize, is that it came down to fear. Fear of the unknown and all of the uncertainty that surrounded his life.

Let me back track a little for some of y’all who may be new around here.  Our first pregnancy was our son Lamar Grant Johnson.  He was diagnosed with Full Trisomy 18, and we were told from the specialist that he would most likely die during birth, or if he happened to survive, he would be needing 24/7 round-the-clock care and would only live up to 1 year at max. The specialist said ultimately it comes down to what kind of life would he have, and they said it would not be good, and that termination would be the best option for us.

Wow if Shane and I could only back track to that day, in that small, brown, terrifying office when we got this news–and changed the trajectory of that conversation.  We would have brought in our own statistics (as we did in Rochelle’s case) of the amount of children that lived (and thrived) with Full Trisomy 18. We would have told them that NO matter what, we were choosing LIFE (and not death) for our son, and that we wouldn’t listen to them try to pressure us to make any other decision.

But that’s not the route we chose, and we have to accept that fact.

Lamar holds a VERY special place in our heart, and we know that Brielle and Malachi (and all three of our adopted children) will forever remember him, even though they never got to physically meet him.

It took a long time for us to understand that God forgives us for that wrong decision and that even though we can never change the outcome, we can celebrate and honor his life and tell people about him and share his story.

We are not perfect, we have flaws, and sins (some bigger than others) but we are loved, forgiven, and redeemed (and for that, we are forever grateful.)

So we celebrated by getting a balloon, singing him happy birthday, eating cake, saying prayers and wishes, and celebrating his life.

We love you so so much Lamar and cannot wait to see you one day!

©2018 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.

 

Malachi is 1 month old!

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So 1 month has passed already and I am amazed at how crazy life has become since his birth. We got sent to adoptions with our boys case (will update you soon on the blog), went to two doctor appointments for Malachi, counseling appointment for my foster sons, 1 doctor visit for my four year old foster son, had 2 visits with CPS, therapy appointments for Gracelynn, and had to take both of my foster sons to Austin to be evaluated by the psychologist. Oh and to top it all off basketball season started for my 6 year old, and dance practice resumed back for Brielle.

We couldn’t have done ANY of this without the help of my parents.  They have been the biggest blessing throughout this entire month and I appreciate it all so much! Thank you Mom and Mike!

One thing I definitely want to do within the next year is keep up with his milestones, likes/dislikes and major developmental growths! ♥♥

Weight: 10 pounds taken at home scale (but was also 10 pounds last week at the doctors)

Likes:

-To be held! It’s so adorable how much he LOVES when we are holding him!
-To be cuddled up with Brielle.  She is seriously the baby whisper-er I promise! They always love her so much!
-To eat! Every time he is awake, he eats first from me (I don’t supply enough milk) and then finishes with a bottle every feeding.
-To sleep! He is definitely the best day sleeper and is letting us have a little bit longer stretches at night (sometimes up to 5 hours)!
-His jammies! He practically lives in them!
-Grunting! He is definitely a little grunter, and it’s so cute!

Dislikes:
– Bathing.  Hates going in and coming out of the bath.
– Changing his diaper, or actually the wiping aspect of it.  He hates a cold wipe!

Teeth: None! 🙂

Language:
Besides the grunting, not much of a language yet!

Milestones: He is definitely lifting his head better and loves to move his upper and lower extremities!

Upcoming:

MD appt:  2 month appt March 12th

Here are some pictures! Hope you all enjoy them as much as I do!❤️

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©2018 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.

1 week already!!

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First off, I cannot believe that Malachi has been here for a week already! Shane has two weeks off of work to spend with us at home, and it has been the greatest in the world to see him bond with his son, and have the ability to spend more time with our other 4 kids at home as well!

He had his first check-up which went great.   The Doctor did a head to toe exam and everything checked out just fine, no concerns were noted at this time.  He also wanted to make sure he was gaining back the little bit of weight that he had lost at the hospital, and it turns out that he had gained all the weight back and then some! He now weighs 8 pounds 1 oz. and still 19 1/4 inches long.  He stated that overall he was a healthy little boy and that he will see us in two weeks for his PKU follow up.

Let me tell you, Malachi is a great eater, great sleeper, and such a laid-back child! I know this is just newborn bliss, but I am loving every single minute of it! All of the kids are loving having a baby brother as well, and it’s so cute to watch each of them develop their own personal bond and relationship with him!

I wanted to share some pictures I have taken this last week, since I want to remember Malachi this small, forever! I know even in a few weeks his looks will change, and he will start to fill out, so I definitely wanted to make sure I captured all these sweet moments now! ♥

 



FYI my boys have to be blurred due to them being in foster care and it’s to protect their privacy! 🙂

Thank you ALL for your sweet comments on our surprise (gender wise) baby boy! We are so blessed and thankful to have him!

©2018 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.