Releasing Parental Pressures

In this fourth section of the 30 days towards connected parenting, Rachel speaks about releasing some of the many pressures that “society” places on us parents.  I definitely felt a LOT of pressure after soon becoming a parent to breastfeed my baby solely since I have heard the phrase “breast is best” MORE times than not.  When I failed at that by not producing enough milk, I felt like I was a failure at supplying what my daughter needs, but also felt shame from society/friends that I couldn’t nourish my baby with my body.

It was an eye opening experience that I felt SUCH a great amount of failure so early on in my parenting.  With the help of Shane and my mom, I was definitely able to continue to breastfeed/pumping and supplementing formula as well. I loved what journey Brielle and I had and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Do you other moms feel like you have to be the boss of your children? I feel like that is my role at work, my role in many situations in life, and also “one” of the titles given to me during my parenting.  I hate for Brielle to disagree, or just have a full on “tantrum” when she just point blank doesn’t do what I WANT her to do, right that minute.. So it begins with the bribing, threats of time out and follow through with them if deemed necessary, and discipline.  I never just realized in those moments of wanting her to just listen and do what I say the first time, might be just not what she wants to do right then and there.  And it’s OK.  I have worked this past week on just getting down on her level, talking through things with her instead of barking orders, and realizing that more gets done when we work as a TEAM, instead of me being the boss of her.  I have seen SO much difference in the way she interacts with me, and I truly hope to only continue and nourish our growing relationship, so that a door never gets closed so early on, that will be so hard to re-open again later in life.


What is your biggest pressure either implied or otherwise? Voice it below and begin to let it go!




This is in response to section 2 of the 30 days towards connected parenting. This section, Sara talks about modelling and how our behaviors, both good and bad, get passed along to our precious child(ren).

I think this topic is so important, because as I see my two year old copy and do exactly what I do/say, I see a LOT of things/behaviors that I do not like.  It is amazing how our children may not listen to everything we say, but they are ALWAYS watching.  You know children are said to be “nosey”? Well, they are just observing how we act/talk to/interact with, other people.  If we show love/affection to our loved ones, or if we show affection to our spouses, then that makes it ok for them to.

She asked 3 questions that were definitely worth looking into, and responding.

Is there something I am doing that might be impacting this behaviour?
Is there something I can change within myself that may help?

How can I help model the kind of opposite behaviours which may help them move past this.

  1. I think everything I do or say, impacts Brielle’s behavior.  She remembers so many things (good and bad), and will act “like mommy does” on so many things.  When I yell or get frustrated, she will do the same.  When I sing loud to my favorite music and dance, she is right next to me doing the same. She is ALWAYS watching both Shane and I, and we really need to be remember to always be aware of that, and remember to always listen to her (even when she is throwing her head on the floor crying because she didn’t get her way).
  2. I am making sure now that I consciously try to not yell when I am frustrated with her (this takes a lot of effort after repeating myself multiple times), and not using curse words.  They just SLIP, and she will use the words correctly too, and I am like WHAT! I tell her it’s a “bad word” and that she can’t use it.  Well, I have to stop using it too, in order for her to learn.  This will definitely take some time to make changes, but I just want to be a better mom.
  3. I think modelling to her by staying calm more often, will help her stay calm when she gets frustrated.  I also think not yelling for Shane to get this, or get that when we are at home, will help with her yelling “Shane” at everyone. lol! I will also be stopping more often to just savor the moment I am in with Brielle.  I am so used to rush, rush, rush, that I don’t just sit down and realize how much of a blessing I have right in front of me.

First Guest Post-Second Time Motherhood

I am so excited about this link-up with Ruthie Hart.  I reached over to her, and asked her if she could describe the challenges she has faced when transitioning from a family of 3 to a family of 4. Please show her some love and stop by her blog (by clicking here) as well! 🙂

Hi I am Ruthie Hart, a Christ follower, Texas wife, and mother to 2 kiddos that I have coined the #hartlittles on social media. I am a stay at home mama by day (and by night too…) and blogger, crafter, reader, and suburban domestic housewife on the side. My blog chronicles my life, faith, and happenings in the kitchen and I am excited to share with you today a little about my transition to becoming a mama of 2 under 2.

Now that Lucy is 2 months old, we’ve regained our sanity and life is getting back to normal. Lucy is blessing us with good sleep, I am feeling 99% after my C section, and Jon and I are feeling pretty good about handling our 2 little munchkins (we plan on having a few more so we remind ourselves, THIS will be the easiest we have it, ha). I love that I am comfortable taking both of the babies out on my own and I have enjoyed getting back into my routine… grocery shopping, play dates, lunches with friends, pool time, etc. I feel like everyone I know is pregnant these days and most of my friends are having their second so a question I get at least once a day is, “So how is it with two babies?”. I don’t want to toot my own horn but it is great and better than I could have ever imagined.

I have to laugh when people say the transition from 1-2 is hard than the transition from 0-1 because my world was ROCKED when Ford came into this world. I loved every ounce of my squishy little boy but everything was new and an adjustment. I had to learn how to be a parent, learn how to prioritize my marriage, all while healing from surgery. It was a crazy time and I am so glad I had a solid community during the transition. The transition from 1-2 hasn’t been seamless but it was been so sweet. The thing I answer with the most is that my confidence in motherhood has made the transition so much better. I KNEW I wouldn’t feel the pains of a C section forever. I KNEW the witching hour was short lived. I KNEW I would one day get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And that helped me through the hard times. Experience has given me confidence and hope and I am so grateful for that. I remember when they handed Lucy to me in recovery and I was alone, I just popped her on my boob. I knew how to position my arms and made sure we didn’t have a painful shallow latch. Thinking back to the first go-around it took at least 3 people to breastfeed, baby not included. I’m confident in my ability to physically take care of my children but I am even more confident in my abilities to love them well. I don’t think any mom is immune from baby blues and feelings of “how will I do this?” and I am so thankful that I was able to get through those times reminding myself that everything is a phase. After hard nights with Lucy I was able to look at my sweet Ford who is full of personality and life and know that I will blink and Lucy will be right beside him cracking me up and entertaining us.

Don’t get me wrong, life with 2 is hard. I feel like having one baby was so carefree and easy (I wish I could tell my new mom of one self that I would say this one day!) and with two there is always something to do. I’ve finally been able to get the babies to nap at the same time but two kids means two sets of laundry, diapers, food, chores… and most likely one of them wakes up a lot earlier than the other. Getting out of the house takes intense planning and at least 10-15 minutes of, “Okay we are leaving, wait I forgot this” and breaking a sweat packing their bags, the double stroller, and the million other things that seem to make it into my car. I don’t have much time for myself and that is OK. I sacrifice sleep for time with my husband because my marriage is so important. I’m okay with the fact that I always have a full load of laundry in the dryer and dishwasher waiting to be folded and put away and that is OK. I used to stress about leaving things un-done on my to do list and now it piles up but you know what, I am happy and my kids are oh-so-happy. I read this article right after I had Lucy and it really shaped the way I look at motherhood. Right now I am looking at my role as a mother as the very best that God has for me right now. He isn’t calling me to be a working mom or work from home mom, I am Ford and Lucy’s mom right now and that is it! The chores, blog posts, and crafting projects can wait. At the end of the day if my children are fed, rested, and healthy, I have done my job well! There will be a season where my kids don’t need me to wipe their bottoms, dress them, and cut up grapes at lunch and my callings will change. I am trying to press into the hard times, knowing that I will crave them when my kids are grown.

So yes, having 2 kids is hard but 2nd time motherhood has been the biggest blessing for me! I can’t imagine life without our sweet Lucy girl and I love the relationship she and Ford already have with one another, I know they will just get closer and closer. Life is crazy, exhausting, and FUN! Jon and I talk all the time how crazy it will be that one day Lucy will be running around with Ford and add to the chaos and hilarity of our household. I am very grateful God chose us to be second time parents and I hope we get the chance to have more (although I am sure when we are outnumbered, I may have to re-write this post!).

Goodbye, 12 inches!

Well, let’s first start off that I have definitely been growing my hair out for the past year with hopes of doing this exact thing, but just didn’t quite know when I had grown it out long enough to do so!

I was very sleep deprived (going on 36 hours of no sleep and having worked a 12 hr shift the day before), and I knew I had to do something just to keep me awake for my hour drive home, from my parents house.  I was supposed to be working that day (called in due to having to take Brielle to the E.R. at 2:30am–that’s a blog in and of itself), and I knew that I had to make the most of the day off and a sick child as I could.

I had just gotten gas at Wal-Mart (it is SO cheap right now, YEAH!), and asked Brielle if she felt good enough to sit on my lap while mommy got a hair cut.  She said yes, and then off we were to great clips (the closest salon and the most affordable)! I had no idea what to expect and was only planning on cutting 10 inches off to donate to the locks of love organization, like I did a year ago.  Well, when I started to explain my intentions, the nice hairdresser told me that they partner up with Wigs for Kids (you can find them here) and they are an organization that doesn’t charge the children for the hair replacement and I was definitely on board once I heard that! I love helping out children, and I even let my hair dresser cut off a little more than 12 as well! I really don’t do ANYTHING with my hair throughout the year (as a nurse, we always have to wear our hair up), and on a nice occasion I will most likely just curl it (takes 5 seconds with mousse) and call it a day.  I have never gone this short before, but I know that in time, it will be long enough for me to do cute hairstyles with! So, I will leave you with a little bit about the organization, and them some before and after pictures of me! 🙂

“For over 30 years, Wigs for Kids has been providing Hair Replacement Systems and support for children who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy, radiation therapy, Alopecia, Trichotillomania, burns and other medical issues at no cost to children or their families.

The effects of hair loss go deeper than just a change in a child’s outward appearance. Hair loss can erode a child’s self-confidence and limit them from experiencing life the way children should. With an injured self-image, a child’s attitude toward treatment and their physical response to it can be negatively affected also. Wigs for Kids helps children suffering from hair loss look themselves and live their lives.

Because we never charge families for hair replacements, we depend on generous people like you that want to help donate hair for cancer and other sources of hair loss. In order to help children who have suffered from hair loss due to complications such as Alopecia in children and other medical issues, a monetary or hair donation is always appreciated.”

Just FYI anyone can donate, and it doesn’t have to be at a Great Clips, you can do it from home, or another salon as well, just follow the instructions on the web page.

Here are a few pictures of the event! 🙂

Before picture, taken at the salon!
Before picture, taken at the salon!
4 12+ inch sections!
4 12+ inch sections!
New look!
New look!
The back, SO short! :)
The back, SO short! 🙂