grief – Page 2

beauty, celebration, Faith, grief, loss, Rochelle

Rochelle turns 1!

November 6, 2015by Sheridan Johnson1 Comment

On this day, exactly one year ago,

life as we knew it, would never be the same.

Today is the day that we had in our mind,

from the moment you were diagnosed.

Statistics showed that most babies with Trisomy 13

don’t live past their first year of life.

We knew you would be different,

that you would be stronger, a fighter.

You gave us the strength day in and day out,

to care for you, and pour our love on you.

We knew from the moment you graced us

with such an amazing “one push” entrance,

that you were here to take us on a wild ride.

Spending those first two weeks in the NICU,

not knowing what was going to happen,

or what our future was going to look like,

every single time you looked in our eyes,

you gave us the answer.

You gave us strength, honor, and courage

to do what was right, and best for you.

The moment you finally were able to come home,

was hands down, the best day ever.

Allowing your big sister to love on you,

teaching her at such a young age,

what it means to have a “sick” sister,

and to truly cherish all of the moments she had with you.

Your labored breathing, intense stares, clinched hands,

are just some of your most amazing features.

Though many days of your short-lived life

were spent in hospital rooms, you were never alone.

Being held was hands down, your favorite (and ours as well).

Hospital rules, lack of seating and accommodation,

couldn’t stop us from holding you.

If you were here right now, your sister would be in bed,

Mommy and Daddy would both be staying up

discussing plans to take you to all of the hospitals

and the doctors tomorrow to show that you

are more than a statistic.That you beat all odds.

We would have made your night time feeding already

and made you as comfortable as possible while holding you.

We would be staring at God’s precious gift to us,

and thank Him for allowing us another day with you.

Even though we know you are now in a better place,

celebrating with Jesus, and your sweet older brother Lamar,

we can’t help but just want one more moment with you both.

Thank you for showing us how to stretch and expand

our love in ways in which we never thought imaginable.

Thank you for being our daughter, our blessing,

our chromosomally enhanced child.

We will continue to fight for other children,

like you and your brother.

We will speak for y’all, every single day,

and continue to honor and praise you both.

We love you SO much and miss you everyday,

Rochelle Elaine Johnson.

R.I.P 11/06/2014-01/07/2015

Faith, grief, loss, Rochelle

A room without books

September 24, 2015September 24, 2015by Sheridan Johnson1 Comment

A room without books is like a body without a soul-Marcus Tullius Ciciero

If I have ever had a life changing experience in a book, it would be the one book by Author Angie Smith called I Will Carry You. This book is written from a mom, who finds out that she is pregnant with her fourth child and the baby is “incompatible with life”. Not only does this woman exemplify faith throughout the whole process from finding out her results, to the birth of the her baby girl, all the way to when her baby girl passed and beyond.

She describes the grief she feels and how she will always be coping with the grief, just in different stages. She provides prayers for us moms who have gone through what she has gone through, or are currently in the situation right now. She provides scriptures in the starting of each chapter from the Bible and one of my favorite ones from the book is “Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering in this:Your promise preserves my life.” Psalm 119:49-50

I wish I could say my life without reading would be the same, but honestly I feel so good when I truly take the time out of my busy life to sit down and read every night. There is something amazing that washes over me when I finish a good book that I can’t wait to tell everyone about! I think reading is knowledge, reading is learning, reading is powerful.

Books are amazing and I know today in this world everything is read through the kindle or through the phone, but take a step back and really savor holding that book, flipping the pages, and having to use a bookmark so that you don’t lose your page.

I LOVE good book recommendations about all walks of life and if you have a great one in mind, feel free to leave comments/suggestions!

angel, Brielle, Faith, Family, grief, loss, Rochelle

33 week check-up!

October 6, 2014October 6, 2015by Sheridan Johnson1 Comment

Baby: 33 weeks and 5days at the day of the appointment! (Even though today we are technically 34 weeks!) Rochelle has been like rolling in my stomach lately I swear and it’s crazy to feel so much pressure (down there) at times. She now has her own immune system, and since her amniotic fluid has maxed out this week and is starting to get thinner she can start seeing more light pass through differentiating between day and night! Her heart rate was ranging in the 120’s-130’s and sounding great! I wish we did another sonogram to get her weight but she is supposedly gaining half a pound a week now. My Doctor wants to schedule my induction for November 10th (a week early) and start with cervadil(used to thin the cervix) and then start pitocin after that and go slow to see how well Rochelle can tolerate labor. We discussed our options again regarding my preferences during labor, what happens if a complication were to occur, and how the the NICU team felt about this pregnancy and how they will be there when I am giving birth. I can’t believe in 5 weeks from today we will be meeting our baby girl for the first time, I cannot wait!

Mommy: I enjoyed my MUCH needed week off from work and returned this past week at the nursing home and had a great weekend working there and then I am going to back to Austin for tomorrow and Wednesday so start my busy month of work there. I get one full weekend off this month and I am definitely looking forward to that!

Daddy: Still doing amazing foot rubs every night I am home, and helping out a LOT around the house since I am having a harder time bending down and picking up stuff quick when there is a spill or what not from Brielle and cooking a lot more too. Such a great husband and father to Brielle and he tells Rochelle every night that he cannot wait to meet his new precious girl. Rochelle is hilarious and knows exactly when Shane touches my belly because she tries to do something funny or crazy inside of me to show off for Daddy!

Cravings: Still sweet stuff but I have calmed down a LOT. I have been wanting apple juice a lot more lately these past two weeks but as for any other cravings I have not had a lot. Oh and cereal for lunch a lot of the days now.

Brielle: We did her 15 month weight for my book that I keep all of her weights in and she is now 22 lb 10 oz.! And 29 1/2 inches long. She has been the same height for quite some time now. We thought for sure she went through a growth spurt for a while eating a lot more then normal and waking up so much in the middle of the nights but nope. She is now completely bottle free but refuses to drink milk out of a cup. Absolutely refuses so I have gotten creative to sneak more calcium and vitamin D into her diet and add whole milk into anything that can have it during her meals. She is talking SO much now and definitely acting like a toddler (temper tantrums, getting mad and trying to hit (which we have NO clue where she got this from), and wanting to do everything herself. Love the joys of all the different stages she goes through and looking back it’s crazy to think of how much we have been through with her in the past 15-16 months. She is one amazing child.