Exploring your own weakness

In the last and final section of this series of the 30 days towards connected parenting, Rachel talks about the importance of exploring your own weakness.

I think for Shane and I, we both have different weaknesses that we had to address, and face, head-on.

Sometimes there are things in life, or a marriage that are hard and difficult to talk about, so most people would just avoid them, instead of putting them out there and facing them.  That can only last for so long, and I am glad that we were able to discuss this with each other, and the impact it has on our children.

A couple of our examples, were that Shane has a weakness for saying “yes” to anyone/anything.  He didn’t realize the impact of his generosity and kindness to others was having on our family.  He wasn’t spending as much time at home, he was putting us after others, and he didn’t even realize that sometimes he can say “no” to people, and not be afraid to hurt their feelings.  He had to work on finding a happy medium that worked best for him and for our family, that we could both agree on.

Me, on the other hand, have the tendency to support every.single.organization/friend/charity, by donating big or small, and while I used to be able to do that without even blinking an eye because we were making so much  more money, I didn’t realize that I continued to do it, even when I dramatically cut my hours to be a stay at home with Brielle during the week and only work weekends. Spending money is my weakness, and even while it was helping others, it was hurting our family financially so we came up a game plan of how much is “ok” to spend each month, and if I pick up extra shifts and we have extra, that it’s ok to help out as much as possible!

Both situations are completely different, but recognizing them and taking ownership of our own actions, can only help us in our future communicate better, and not be so  afraid to address the weaknesses that lie within us!

This 30 day parenting definitely took me longer than 30 days to complete, but I am SO happy that we took the time/energy/effort into this, and I am LOVING the outcome!

 

 

©2016 Sheridan Johnson @Journey with the Johnsons. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Reactive vs. proactive parenting-section 12

In this section, Rachel discusses the difference between reactive vs. proactive parenting.

It is so important for us to try to react to our children in a loving and kind way.  I for one, am the first one to admit that I overreact a lot of times when Brielle is misbehaving/doing something that she shouldn’t be doing.

After reading this article a couple of months ago, I am really trying to understand more of where/why she is acting the way she is, instead of reacting so fast to the situation at hand.  This has changed how she responds dramatically and it has actually help to prevent a LOT of meltdowns.

I have been working on saying  more phrases like “what is making you so mad” or “how can mommy help you figure this out” so she doesn’t become frustrated which usually ends in a meltdown.

There are still so many times that Shane and I jump the gun and say something out of anger/little sleep/busyness, but that doesn’t make it ok and I know it does hurt her feelings in the end.

What I have noticed is that it’s ok to say “I’m sorry, mommy only said that because I was upset with you and I will try to work on not yelling the next time you do that”.  She is learning so much and putting everything together, and I don’t want her to remember this phase in her little life, as always being in trouble or redirected to do something else.

We can always be better, and in the end, that’s the most important thing is that we continue to work to be better parents, better partners and always have the same goals in the end!

Have you said something negative to your child, and immediately thought out a different scenario where things could’ve ended differently?  Let me know! I would love to connect on this topic!ABM_1452390605

 

Talking about parenting with your partner-section 11

In this section, Sara talks about how you should talk about parenting with your partner.

Parenting literally takes an army, but one of the most important people included in that army, should be your spouse.  Shane and I have both agreed and disagreed on many parts during this parenting journey.

Speaking with each other and being on the same page, is a task to accomplish, but it is so important!  Our two year old little girl, picks up on everything and she totally tries to work both of us to get what she wants.

One major topic that we discussed early on was whether or not to put Brielle in daycare.  After a WHILE of talking/thinking/praying about it, we chose to not put her in daycare, and have my parents babysit while I was working.  To this day, that is still how it works out, and we couldn’t be more blessed!

Another recent major topic, that we are not FULLY set on yet (more because of my reservations), is to homeschool or not.  I write a blog post (here) about which is best between public vs homeschool, and I love different aspects about them both.  I am just going to continue to teach Brielle new stuff each week,  expand her knowledge and experiences, and teach her as much as I can throughout her life!

While no two people can be perfect, we can always strive to be better versions of ourselves!  May this next year bring new experiences and more joy than ever before!

 

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Everday Connection-section 8

In this section, Rachel talks about how important it is just to have an everyday connection with your child.

  • Is your child particularly affectionate?
  • Do they enjoy talking out their thoughts?
  • What are they interested in which you can participate in or encourage them in?

I do feel that me and Brielle have an amazing connection.  It’s just something about a mother and a daughter that is just unbreakable.  I love the relationship I have with my mom, and through thick and thin, she has always been there for me.  I only hope that Brielle and I can continue the closeness that we do have, and develop it into a lifelong friendship.

  •  The answer to the first answer is yes.  She is amazingly affectionate towards those that she loves.  I love the way she loves me and our family.  She also is crazy affectionate (kisses, hugs, holds hands) with her close friends that she calls her “best friend”.
  • The answer to the second is also a yes.  She LOVES to talk, to anything and everything.  All.Day.Long.  I don’t think she is really “quiet” unless she is napping, or has her paci in her mouth randomly.  I love finding out each and every day what she is thinking, learning, and how much her brain is expanding into forming memories, and making new ones.
  • The third answer is her toys, babies, and puzzles..  Brielle particularly loves to play “pretend” with her babies (feed them, change them, cuddle them), but she also loves to figure things out.  She loves when Shane and I watch her do something “new” on her own, and lately that has been to figure out new pieces of the 63 piece puzzle that go together.  Since she is an only child, spending one on one with either one of us, means SO much to her, and I have to remember to really make more of an effort to do that more often!

I love this 30 days connected series, and I can’t wait to do the last few sections!

 

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Love the two of them SO much!