Reactive vs. proactive parenting-section 12

In this section, Rachel discusses the difference between reactive vs. proactive parenting.

It is so important for us to try to react to our children in a loving and kind way.  I for one, am the first one to admit that I overreact a lot of times when Brielle is misbehaving/doing something that she shouldn’t be doing.

After reading this article a couple of months ago, I am really trying to understand more of where/why she is acting the way she is, instead of reacting so fast to the situation at hand.  This has changed how she responds dramatically and it has actually help to prevent a LOT of meltdowns.

I have been working on saying  more phrases like “what is making you so mad” or “how can mommy help you figure this out” so she doesn’t become frustrated which usually ends in a meltdown.

There are still so many times that Shane and I jump the gun and say something out of anger/little sleep/busyness, but that doesn’t make it ok and I know it does hurt her feelings in the end.

What I have noticed is that it’s ok to say “I’m sorry, mommy only said that because I was upset with you and I will try to work on not yelling the next time you do that”.  She is learning so much and putting everything together, and I don’t want her to remember this phase in her little life, as always being in trouble or redirected to do something else.

We can always be better, and in the end, that’s the most important thing is that we continue to work to be better parents, better partners and always have the same goals in the end!

Have you said something negative to your child, and immediately thought out a different scenario where things could’ve ended differently?  Let me know! I would love to connect on this topic!