This is in response to section 2 of the 30 days towards connected parenting. This section, Sara talks about modelling and how our behaviors, both good and bad, get passed along to our precious child(ren).
I think this topic is so important, because as I see my two year old copy and do exactly what I do/say, I see a LOT of things/behaviors that I do not like. It is amazing how our children may not listen to everything we say, but they are ALWAYS watching. You know children are said to be “nosey”? Well, they are just observing how we act/talk to/interact with, other people. If we show love/affection to our loved ones, or if we show affection to our spouses, then that makes it ok for them to.
She asked 3 questions that were definitely worth looking into, and responding.
Is there something I am doing that might be impacting this behaviour?
Is there something I can change within myself that may help?
How can I help model the kind of opposite behaviours which may help them move past this.
- I think everything I do or say, impacts Brielle’s behavior. She remembers so many things (good and bad), and will act “like mommy does” on so many things. When I yell or get frustrated, she will do the same. When I sing loud to my favorite music and dance, she is right next to me doing the same. She is ALWAYS watching both Shane and I, and we really need to be remember to always be aware of that, and remember to always listen to her (even when she is throwing her head on the floor crying because she didn’t get her way).
- I am making sure now that I consciously try to not yell when I am frustrated with her (this takes a lot of effort after repeating myself multiple times), and not using curse words. They just SLIP, and she will use the words correctly too, and I am like WHAT! I tell her it’s a “bad word” and that she can’t use it. Well, I have to stop using it too, in order for her to learn. This will definitely take some time to make changes, but I just want to be a better mom.
- I think modelling to her by staying calm more often, will help her stay calm when she gets frustrated. I also think not yelling for Shane to get this, or get that when we are at home, will help with her yelling “Shane” at everyone. lol! I will also be stopping more often to just savor the moment I am in with Brielle. I am so used to rush, rush, rush, that I don’t just sit down and realize how much of a blessing I have right in front of me.