20 down and very proud~

I am seriously so happy that I have gotten to this point so far.  I remember when I was writing my blog post here, thinking about how sad and down I was truly feeling on the inside and out just a month and a half after Rochelle’s passing.  I just ate, and ate, and ate my feelings away.  If you know me, you know I have had struggles with my weight pretty much my whole life.

Around the junior/senior year of high school, I decided to make a change for the better and join the local gym in Austin.  I went with my best friend and LOVED it!  Once I moved down here (to Yoakum), it took me a LONG time to feel comfortable enough to go to the gym alone, literally not knowing a single person.  It broke me out of my shell and introduced me to such good people/friends and I can happily say that I still work out with them to this day!

After each pregnancy, I feel like it definitely takes a toll on your mind, body, and spirit.  All of the hard work that I had done before getting pregnant my first time, I wanted to bounce back to it right away.  Well when I gained around 15-25 pounds each pregnancy, it just didn’t come off like I would have liked (as I am sure many mamas can relate to this part!).  Having 3 babies in 4 years I am sure had something to do with it. 🙂

Once we took our spring family photos (which you can find here), I noticed that the girl in those pictures was NOT me! I couldn’t believed I had gained back all of my baby weight that I had lost after I had Rochelle!  I just didn’t want to see the number on the scale anymore.  That’s when I made a doc appointment that changed my whole perspective.

I knew that it had literally been YEARS since I had been to my regular MD, and not my OBGYN, and I knew he would probably be unhappy with the way I had just let my body go.  Surprisingly, he was not.  He said he completely understood with all of the pain and struggles I have had in the last 5 years, that my gaining weight was not that much of a worry, he wanted to make sure I was emotionally ok.  After that, I realized it’s not about what I have lost, but about what I have gained.  I have two angels who constantly watch over my family every day, I have a healthy and happy toddler who lives life to the fullest that I have to be healthy for, an amazing husband who has stood by me through thick and thin and has never once judged the way I look, and an amazing support system with an amazing God that I can always count on to help me through the struggles.

It was in May that I decided to make a change.  To stop dwelling on the past and the negative thoughts and move forward and release my emotions in the gym again! So then, I got my butt to the gym again on a regular regimen and started making better diet choices! I have lost 20 pounds and I can see already so much change.  Even though no one has really complimented me yet (it’s hard to see weight loss on larger people) but I know in my heart, that I am doing the best I can right now.

Here’s to the future of health, happiness, and love!

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