You know those fears developed as a child that you know for sure you will have the rest of your life? I really thought they would never go away, and I would honestly be terrified of them forever. Just a few of my fears have been heights, bugs (especially cockroaches), spiders, and of course actually touching fish or fish bait for that matter. When I had face my fears head on as a parent, it really opened my eyes that these fears were developed so young as a child that I really never thought about overcoming them.
Heights has to be the biggest fear I have. I mean I know I am tall and all, but I am seriously afraid of being off of my feet. When Rochelle had to be transported by helicopter from Yoakum (my tiny town) to Austin for immediate help, I had to make a choice right then and there if I was going to let Shane ride with her like he did the time before, or if I was going to push my fear aside and put the health of my baby girl first. Of course, as many of you know I chose to fly with her, and let me tell you, it was the scariest thing in my life but I am SO glad that I did it. When I look back, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I even got brave enough to look out the window a couple of times once Rochelle was stable. I also recently had to go up the highest point of the park and walk across the bridge and slide a down a very tall and steep slide, and by the grace of God, I did it.
Bugs has to be one of my fears that has been with me as long as I can remember. I remember the first time I saw a cockroach in my house, after I had Brielle and I seriously felt my heart pounding outside of my chest, knowing I had to be the one to kill it since Shane was gone at work. I never thought I could be brave enough to kill one, pick it up, and throw it in the trash, but let me tell you I am MUCH more willing to do that now with majority bugs. I just didn’t want to develop a fear in Brielle to be afraid of all of the same things as me.
Spiders are just disgusting to me, and just knowing that they are everywhere, doesn’t make it any easier for me. I literally had a head on encounter with a tarantula last summer as I was baby wearing Brielle about to go on a walk, leaving in my driveway. I decided in that moment to either A. Be afraid, scream and yell for Shane or B. Kill that dang thing that show Shane that I actually did something pretty brave without needing help! So I chose B, and Shane was so proud of me and of course I patted myself on the back knowing that it was very unlikely that I would do it again, but let tell you I just had to do it again last week in our backyard while we were playing with the dogs. Score!
Fears are something that is developed usually at a young age, and I am proud to say that after becoming a parent, my fears have had to be faced head on! Thank goodness for these precious kiddos, or else I would probably still be relying on Shane for everything. 🙂