Four months.

On the 6th of May Rochelle would have another huge celebration of turning 6 months old! I know we would have been going crazy celebrating and wishing for more time.  Instead, on the 7th of May (yesterday) we sadly realized it has been 4 precious months since Rochelle left to be with God.

This past month has been trying in some ways, and healing in others.  Some people said some really hurtful things about Rochelle (and her diagnosis) without really knowing the truth, and I just prayed for them to find comfort and healing in knowing how much love Rochelle was shown each and every moment of her life.  I have since received an apology and was asked to tell my version of Rochelle’s story which I gladly did.  I know some people may not understand what exactly Trisomy 13 is, or the fact that how in the world can this not come from Shane or myself, but just know that God wouldn’t have gifted us with her if he didn’t think we could handle it.  We loved every precious cry, her labored breathing, her sweet smell of breast milk/formula and how she hated to be moved and just wanted to be cuddled all day.  We will never forget it, and Shane and I are both very open to sharing her story.  You never know who exactly it could affect.

It has been healing in the sense that I am finally finding myself again.  I have told myself over and over again that I will get back on track with my diet/exercise I don’t know how many times, but I am happy to say, I have finally done it.  Now, of course I am not perfect and I enjoy that cheeseburger a little too much to get it go completely yet but I am making improvements and slowly but surely getting to be my old self again.  I found peace in knowing that it’s ok to feel like a door needs to be closed before another one can open.  I have a lot of hope knowing that great things are in our future, and I am going to cherish every moment of it.

Here is a little tidbit of my blog entry when I first found out we were pregnant with Rochelle “We just found out two days ago(3/10/14)! I am so in shock with this pregnancy and I am so blessed that God allowed us to get pregnant again and carry another baby.”  I truly thank God for blessing me with the ability to carry and nourish my baby to full term and provide her with my love and my care for as long as I possibly could.

Here is the first ultrasound we got of her


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